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© 2018 Torrie Chatman

Divorce feels like....

September 26, 2018

 



A picture is worth a thousand words they say. This is me at ages 18 & 26 standing with my Daddy getting ready to merge my world with the man in front of me in every way. I had no idea about the journey ahead of me. I didn’t have a clue about the resentment, pain, and regret, then the wholeness, growth, & freedom.

Divorce feels like death. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. If you are going through one, you have two choices: remain stuck or move forward. And trust! The forward movement is not easy. It’s foolish. To say that I was angry with God is an understatement. I told Him to go kick rocks a couple of times. (I know y’all beautifully composed people never do that ;)

One thing that I knew about my Savior is that He could handle my brokenness and when I was ready, He wooed me back to Him with so much compassion & love.
Where are you today? Maybe the pain feels like a weight on your chest & it hurts to breathe. Maybe you aren’t sure what is next. It’s ok to take it not a day, or hour but one moment at a time.

I wrote this a couple of years ago while writing my memoir.

Torrie,
As much as you want it to be, this won't be it. Of course, the wedding day will be beautiful & the remnants of love will linger in the air but all of that will become a distant memory. You'll lose yourself & completely hold on to you. You'll smile, cry, swear, laugh, cuss & hurt. You'll speak out and there will be times that you remain silent. You'll become familiar with pain & wonder how y'all got there. Disappointment & ignored promises will replay like broken records in your mind. There will be moments that you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel & sometimes things will look better. You'll put down things that you've been using to fill the voids in your life & cling to John 16:33 like your existence depends on it. Bitterness will permeate your spirit & God will expose your wrongdoings. You"ll turn away from Abba & you'll fall in love with Him again.
You'll walk away with a shattered heart & later you'll embrace forgiveness....not just for them but yourself.
You'll love again, believe again, & hope again.
With the deepest love,
Yourself 💋


I challenge you to journal your revelation about where you are to yourself about closing this chapter of your life. I’ve learned that things covered up don’t heal well. I want you to not only survive but THRIVE.

Can I pray for you? I’d like to. You can email me at contact@torriechatman.com.
P.S. The beautiful thing about season is even they have to change. It won’t always be like this. 💛

~XO
Torrie 

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